Walking the halls of the RBC Center, we've all wondered at times how to make character inferences from the Hurricanes replica jersey you so lovingly sport. Well, this admittedly incomplete post is here to help. Read on and learn.
Eric Staal (with 06 SCF patch or 2006+ with assistant captain's A), Rod Brind'Amour (2005+ with captain's C), Erik Cole (any age, male wearer): you are a Carolina Hurricanes fan with enough money to invest in a personalized jersey.
Ron Francis, Staal/Brind'Amour (older): the Igor Larionov-in-3OT flashbacks never really go away, but 2006 made them a lot easier to deal with.
Erik Cole (female wearer): helLOOOOOOOO, puck bunny!
Cam Ward: you are eight or nine years old, and your parents have been told that he's the grandson of a preacher and a good role model. Your parents know little about hockey, though, and even less of the common mental state of goaltenders. This will come back to bite them when you reach high school.
Tuomo Ruutu: you'd had your eye on it for about a year, but finally committed the $180 and retired your old Cole jersey to the attic a week before the 2009 trade deadline.
Chad LaRose: look, buddy, when you're 275 pounds, you shouldn't buy a jersey that makes people wonder whether you ate the midget that made it famous.
Justin Williams: you've had season tickets for several seasons, you kept the faith through the lean years, gritted your teeth through injury after injury to your boy, and this is how JR rewards you? People trying to sneak hard liquor through the security checkpoint should ask you for advice.
Brandon Sutter: this isn't your first jersey purchase, and you've watched a lot of hockey. Problem is, nobody who sees you at the rink knows whether the one hanging in your closet is Tanabe (bad) or Dineen (good).
Joe Corvo: Italian or from Fayetteville, quite possibly both. Far, far more willing to resort to physical violence than Corvo himself is on the ice.
Jussi Jokinen: you moved to Raleigh and/or discovered the existence of hockey in the spring of 2009 -- or there's a bit of repressed Dallas Stars fandom in you. You kinda like the shootout, but after the reaction you got from Sutter/Dineen guy, you're careful about who you share that with.
with apologies to the genre-defining Lookout Landing post