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About Last Night: In Which Last Night Didn’t Actually Happen

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Jordan Staal said to forget the game last night. So let’s try.

Carolina Hurricanes v Boston Bruins Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images

Last night was the worst night since...well, three weeks ago actually. But the Hurricanes’ 7-1 loss in Boston was almost more demoralizing than the last lopsided loss.

When the Canes lost to the Maple Leafs 8-1, at least our hopes were slightly more up in the air coming into the game. In games leading up to that decimation, they had let the Sharks come from waaaaaay behind to win, then let the woeful Sabres score three third-period goals to force overtime. And though the Ducks are a decent team, they were plagued by injuries when they beat the Canes 3-2.

There were legitimate question marks then. But headed into this game, the Canes were 5-1-1, with the losses coming to a Blues squad that seems to be in Cup-contending form and the Metro-leading Capitals in overtime. They had shutout the Penguins with Ward in net (and beat them 2-1 a few games earlier for good measure) and slammed the Preds 4-1.

Then...this.

(I still claim it’s not fair that the Bruins got a snow break.)

Anyways, we forgot that last beatdown pretty well for a few weeks. Now, it’s time to get into Super Memory Loss Mode™ so we can stay on the straight and narrow path to the playoffs. And I truly believe that if we put our minds to the task in addition to the boys (read: men) in red, we’ll do even better in the near future.

So below, I’ve compiled some reading on memory loss that should help you forget anything about last night:

  • Here’s a writeup by the Independent on a study conducted by researchers from Ivy League schools (which are never wrong, or so I’ve heard) that showed that deleting context from a specific memory can help you forget it. So try to think about last night happening on an abnormally hot, dry November day.
  • The Seattle Times published this research review on forgetting traumatic experiences, including one study that said that recalling memories but correcting it with a different piece of information could help (e.g. “Who beat us last night?” “The Bruins.” “No, I think it was the Maple Leafs.” Do this 30 days in a row until you forget). However, the article suggest that one seeks psychiatric help in overcoming traumatic memories. Here’s a database of psychiatrists certified by the American Psychiatric Association if you may need one after last night.
  • For some people, really shallow, face-value suggestions seem to work. So here’s 15 ways to forget about a girl you loved, published by LovePanky, who I assume is an authority on all things love.
  • Finally, for those audio-visual learners, here’s a YouTube post on forgetting things on purpose (read a book, jeez).

You’re one step closer to forgetting Patrice Bergeron’s four goals

...Or was it assists?

Who does he play for again?